1. Shattered. Tortured. Excruciating. I dunno what to do. If I stay, I will die, if give up, the same thing will happen. A year ago, he gave me this cute stuff, not knowing that it causes me so much happiness. Minsan lang ako nagmahal ng sobrang seryoso, pero ito pa ang kinahinatnan. A year and almost 8 months of being close to him (if i am not mistaken), is a very wonderful scenario that has happened in my life. He’s 11 year older than me, a father to a very cute son, but still, I find him perfect though loving him is a sin. He’s not yet married pero ang lalabas nun, panira ako. Other woman. Mistress. Kerida. Halos kinain ko lahat ng masasakit na salita para lang hindi siya mawala sakin. I want to demand him to fight for me. Be with me. CHOOSE ME. Pero hindi ko kayang gawin dahil baka mag cause lang na magalit siya saken. Inside my relationship with him, para akong may hawak na babasagin sa dulo ng daliri ko. Any wrong move, pwedeng mabasag, masira, MAWALA. Kaya ang dapat kong gawin, magtiis, tanggapin ang limitasyon ko. Di ako pwede mag demand ng full time nyang oras. Bawalan siyang lumapit sa ibang babae, at sabihin sa kanya na AKO LANG. Pero naiinis ako sa sarili ko kasi di ko kayang magalit at mainis sa kanya. WALA siyang kasalanan. Una sa lahat, ako ang nagkamali. Sana tiniis ko na lang na nasasaktan ng lihim. Di ko na sana inamin sa kanya yung tunay na nararamdaman ko. Hindi ko na nakikita yung sarili ko with other guys to date. SIYA LANG ANG GUSTO KO, though it really sound so selfish, pathetic, little headed and psychotic. I CAN’T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT HIM! And now? I decided to end things up. Ang masakit lang dun, I don’t feel any hint of that “Fight for what’s between us thingy”. Ang sakit. Pero as expected, eto naman talaga ang dapat mangyari. Ang hirap isipin na yung mga pangarap ko na sumumpa sa harap ng altar kasama siya ay hindi na matutupad. Yung mga simpleng pangarap ko tuwing gabi na masaya sa piling nya? Napakahirap na din gawin. Yung desisyon na putulin kung anu man ang meron samin is a NIGHTMARE. 

I want him. I love him. I still do. Pero hanggang dun na lang talaga siguro yun. If he returns, I’ll accept. Kung hindi, I’ll endure the pain. I have to. 

— Cheska

    Shattered. Tortured. Excruciating. I dunno what to do. If I stay, I will die, if give up, the same thing will happen. A year ago, he gave me this cute stuff, not knowing that it causes me so much happiness. Minsan lang ako nagmahal ng sobrang seryoso, pero ito pa ang kinahinatnan. A year and almost 8 months of being close to him (if i am not mistaken), is a very wonderful scenario that has happened in my life. He’s 11 year older than me, a father to a very cute son, but still, I find him perfect though loving him is a sin. He’s not yet married pero ang lalabas nun, panira ako. Other woman. Mistress. Kerida. Halos kinain ko lahat ng masasakit na salita para lang hindi siya mawala sakin. I want to demand him to fight for me. Be with me. CHOOSE ME. Pero hindi ko kayang gawin dahil baka mag cause lang na magalit siya saken. Inside my relationship with him, para akong may hawak na babasagin sa dulo ng daliri ko. Any wrong move, pwedeng mabasag, masira, MAWALA. Kaya ang dapat kong gawin, magtiis, tanggapin ang limitasyon ko. Di ako pwede mag demand ng full time nyang oras. Bawalan siyang lumapit sa ibang babae, at sabihin sa kanya na AKO LANG. Pero naiinis ako sa sarili ko kasi di ko kayang magalit at mainis sa kanya. WALA siyang kasalanan. Una sa lahat, ako ang nagkamali. Sana tiniis ko na lang na nasasaktan ng lihim. Di ko na sana inamin sa kanya yung tunay na nararamdaman ko. Hindi ko na nakikita yung sarili ko with other guys to date. SIYA LANG ANG GUSTO KO, though it really sound so selfish, pathetic, little headed and psychotic. I CAN’T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT HIM! And now? I decided to end things up. Ang masakit lang dun, I don’t feel any hint of that “Fight for what’s between us thingy”. Ang sakit. Pero as expected, eto naman talaga ang dapat mangyari. Ang hirap isipin na yung mga pangarap ko na sumumpa sa harap ng altar kasama siya ay hindi na matutupad. Yung mga simpleng pangarap ko tuwing gabi na masaya sa piling nya? Napakahirap na din gawin. Yung desisyon na putulin kung anu man ang meron samin is a NIGHTMARE. 

    I want him. I love him. I still do. Pero hanggang dun na lang talaga siguro yun. If he returns, I’ll accept. Kung hindi, I’ll endure the pain. I have to. 

    — Cheska

  2. 9 photos of HP premieres: Chamber of Secrets (London)

    (via snapesdesire)

  3. method in my madness: What happens if you fall in love with a writer?

    theranaway:

    by Mik of karenfelloutofbedagain

    Lots of things might happen. That’s the thing about writers. They’re unpredictable. They might bring you eggs in bed for breakfast, or they might all but ignore you for days. They might bring you eggs in bed at three in the morning. Or they might wake you up…

    (Source: ranzafe)

  4. Harry Potter Alphabet
     ↳ Burrow (And scenes which playing inside of the Burrow.)

    (via snapesdesire)

  5. I will always be a fan <3

    I will always be a fan <3

    (via snapesdesire)

  6. One of my favorite songs <3 God will always be my defender, FOREVER!

    (Source: Spotify)

  7. “I don’t wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone .”

  8. “Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the biggest fool of all? Must be the girl who can’t stop crying, or maybe the girl who kept on trying ♥”

  9. I may not be the prettiest or smartest girl you&#8217;ve ever had, but I am that girl who always loved you in your ups and downs.

    I may not be the prettiest or smartest girl you’ve ever had, but I am that girl who always loved you in your ups and downs.